Sep 3, 2012

My Top 10 After Week One

 1. Alabama: Saban is still pissed.

2. USC: Lee/Woods are straight beats. Scariest WR duo in some time.

3. LSU: Didn't completely fuck up against a shit opponent.

4. MSU: You beat Boise, you get my love and respect.

5. (tie). Oregon/West Virginia/UGA: You scored a lot and let shit teams score a lot.

8. Ohio State: They win the Big10 "At least we don't support child molesters" award  for Week 1.

9. Okie State: With that win you're #1 in the 1AA polls this week.

10. Florida State: The football gods punished you for your schedule by having your best player get hurt.

2012 Week One - A рассмотрение {n}

The (boring) defensive ACC masterpiece known as VT-GT, 2012 ends with a clusterfuck upon clusterfuck, culminating with Logan Thomas kneeling the ball on the right hash of the 1 yard OT...when any score wins it. Nothing else needed to be said to remind me that ACC FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY!

So here is the Week One Review (the  line for weeks until I quit doing this is 2.5).


This week was started with a (boring, sloppy) defensive game where South Carolina held off Vandy to win 17-13. As a fan of an SEC team, I anticipated the deluge of negative comments towards my vicarious conference affiliation. Luckily for me, the banner teams from other conferences didn't exactly impress this week.

Oklahoma and Wisconsin: You Suck.

When you start the season #12 at home against a 1AA opponent, I'm sure the goal for the week is to be up 5 with that opponent driving with about 3 minute left. Wisconsin somehow managed this feat while it's starting QB went 19/23 with 0 INTs. A creative journey into mediocrity, like this blog.

Bob Stoops continued his long tradition of running the score up by going for the TD with 2:55 left in the game against hapless UTEP (who was 5-7 in a non BCS conference last year). Typically these sorts of moves by Stoops are met with howls from the media, but apparently when that late TD brings your 4th ranked team to a monstrous 17 point lead, you have certainly justified your preseason rankings.

Savannah State: You Really Suck.

Oklahoma State was up 35-0. In the 1st Quarter. With 1:36 left.

There are "gimme" games, and then there are "gimme games for mediocre 1AA opponents." Savannah State was beaten by Southeastern Louisiana (3-8 overall in 2011, and 1-6 in the Southland Conference) last year 63-6.

What most people don't realize is that Savannah State gets the honor of playing Florida State next week.

Florida State: Your Schedule Really, REALLY Sucks.

Murray State and Savannah State compromise  half of FSU's non-conference schedule. FSU then faces the gauntlet of the ACC. Sprinkled in that insurmountable situation are UF (who sucks) and USF (who has been predicted to be the breakout team since 2007 and then went 7-5, 7-5, 7-5, and 5-7 in the regular seasons following 2007.

Alabama: You're F'ing Good.

Michigan entered this game with a RB playing QB and without its actual starting RB. It's defense was questionable and now truly feeling the effects of Rich Rod's failure to recruit defensive talent. So of course they stood a chance against Alabama on a national stage, right? We learned two things from Saturday night in Dallas:

1. Nick Saban is never happy. With a blowout in hand, a minor error (I think it was a false start on a punt) led Saban to run out onto the field screaming like the day he found out Candy Edwards was married to Edwin Edwards. It's truly a spectacle to watch, week in, week out.

2. Denard Robinson is now officially a member of the "Fuck it, throw it deep" club.

The Denard offense consists as follows: (1) Hand it off, (2) run a QB dive, or (3) throw a lofty ball as far as you can aimed somewhere near the sidelines. Rex Grossman smiles proudly.

OH, he'll still run all over the Big10 this year. Hooray!

Boise State Can Still Go Fuck Itself.

Self explanatory.